Trick or Treat- A Halloween Gift.

"No."

"But…"

"No," said the 31-year-old P.I. not looking up from his paperwork.

"When was the last time you even went trick or treating?" persisted the gangly
youth.

"20 years ago."

"And didn't you enjoy it?"

"Nope. Never liked those new fangled gummy things and then there were those
chocolate coins," he shuddered. "Eurgh."

"But it's fun!" whined the boy.

"I'm not going. End of story." James folded his arms and turned to the filing cabinet behind him. Trick-or-treating? At his age? Besides, no one gave out chocolate digestive on Halloween- everyone knew that. It was the only reason he usually agreed to visit Aunt Mabel instead, read painted talons and all.

"Please?" He froze. "For me?" came the voice again, sounding like a puppy that's just been kicked. In winter. On Christmas day. He would not turn around. He would not.

He turned around.

Damn.

"Don't start that with me Jake," he growled nervously.

The boy Jake smirked inwardly, never dropping the puppy dog façade. He shook his hand out of his overlong sleeve and rubbed his eyes with the back of it.

"But I really wanted to go," he sniffed. He jutted out his lower lip and let it tremble ever so slightly.

James closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. Damn those green eyes. He let out a world-weary sigh.

"Fine. But not another word till the 31st or I'll make sure the death of a certain 17-year-old stops me from going." He glared to add emphasis to the empty threat.

"I'll bring you an extra biscuit with your tea tonight," sang Jack happily as he sailed out the door.

Damn that kid. He really had to stop caving so easily. Nightmarish images of the previous Easter celebrations came to mind. He shuddered.

"Make that three extra!" he yelled after the disappearing, scruffy blonde head.

***

"That annoying little brat," hissed Lazarus, gripping his head in pain. "When I get a hold of him…" He hissed as his head split with pain again. He still wasn't quite sure what had happened but he knew that whatever it was Leo would be somehow involved. Tiramisu? What did that have to do with things?

He shook his head and pulled himself on to the chair that was nearby. He sat down with a huff and stared at his leg.  Whose trousers were those? And this awful brown suit; they weren't his clothes. Surely Leo hadn't taken him to that club. He was just beginning to sweat when his hand drifted up to the side of his neck. Bolts?
"LEO!!!"
***

Leo meanwhile was having a whale of a time. Who would've thought that humans had a celebration just to get scared? He didn't quite understand the part about the sugary compensations but Laz had said it was all part of 'tradition'. He had put a liquorice stick under the doormat just in case. He darted around making the final preparations.

"LEO!" came a faint echo from within the depths of the house that would be any witches' dream castle. Good, that meant Lazarus was finally up.

If anyone had asked him where or how he'd gotten the two-storey house complete with cobwebs, creaky floorboards and slamming doors, they would probably wake up two days later on the sidewalk with a splitting headache- if they were lucky*. He'd gotten the design from the countless Halloween movies Lazarus had made him watch to stop him from moping about the lack of art around this time of year. Had he known about them sooner he would've made more preparations. But alas, as he always said, one must always make do with what he has- and steal what he doesn't.

Finally, he turned to his two subordinates, or pets as they really were.
"Fez, Shadow Child, you know what to do," he said to the two palm sized creatures, one a blinding white, the other midnight black respectively. The creatures nodded in understanding, evil grins, identical to their masters, spread across their tiny faces and sped away in a flash that was both light and darkness simultaneously. It was a nauseating effect.

***

After two hours of fruitless struggling to get his fully-grown boss to dye his hair green and put on a bright purple suit, the duo went out to begin trick-or-treating: Jack in his Ninja outfit, complete with shuriken and scrolls and James dressed as a Private Investigator. Well, you win some you lose some.
So far James seemed to be enjoying the night with as much relish as one does climbing through muck. Jack sighed. Perhaps Halloween hadn't been such a good idea after all. He was just about to suggest them calling it a night when he spotted it. He dragged James along behind him.
***

Leo was not an amateur. He was the master of this art. His art. Bringing your worst fears to life, shadows that coalesced into writhing, wriggling shapes; it was what he did for fun.
He watched the two strangers enter from his place in the shadows, excitement sparking when he saw they didn't flinch from the chattering skeletons he'd bought from the novelty shop to scare off unworthy 'customers'. Things could get interesting at last.
---
"Who do you think set this all up?" asked Jack poking the eye of a rubber witch. "I've never even noticed this place before."

"Who knows? Have you had your fun yet?" grumbled James.

"Wait," said Jack flapping him away. "I want to get to the end."

They ascended the wooden staircase complete with creaky floorboards and holes where the floor gave way. A thick, swirling mist rolled in.

"Hey! They even bought a fog machine!" exclaimed Jack running a hand through the fog. James just harrumphed and followed the ecstatic youth up the stairs.

Then the lamps went out. Jack pulled out his keychain flashlight. So Leo dropped the temperature a couple of degrees. The strangers' breath came out in little puffs but they ploughed on nonetheless. Tough ones, eh?
---
They formed themselves out of shadow, a coiling, wriggling mass of darkness. They hissed and flicked out their tongues to taste the fear levels in the air; they were low but then that's why they were summoned.
---
They walked in the narrow beam of the toy flashlight, their footsteps echoing in the dark.
"Don't they have electricity in this place? Who is this guy? A monk?" Jack rolled his eyes at his boss' obvious lack of concept. "That fog machine's gotten really loud," added James.

Jack stopped in his tracks.

"I think he's a herpetologist**," said the lad, slowly lowering the beam to the floor.

"A what?"

"Snakes." They were too real to be made of rubber. And that one blinked.  He grabbed James' arm and ran for it, the writhing black mass right on their heels. They turned into a corridor lined with doors. He pulled them into the one nearest to his left, breathing hard. James bent over and clutched his knees.
"This is one hell of a haunted house."

***
Leo was getting annoyed. He'd done all the things the movies had assured him would work: snakes, bats, severed limbs the lot. He'd even thrown in a couple of creatures from his own world. Even Shadow Child's and Fez's combined presence had had no effect.
---
Well, not quite.
"I think I'm gonna be sick," said James clutching his stomach and going a fetching shade of puce.
"What the heck was that?" wondered Jack blinking furiously. It'd been like experiencing a black out only he was still conscious: the same stars and blinding flashes…
"This ain't no ordinary house Jack. Let's get out," growled James, slowly getting to his feet. He still couldn't get the damn room to stop spinning.
---
Leo smiled seeing the strangers about to give up. They had been worthy foes but he still had to get them running and screaming. Now how to do it?
---
"Uggggh." All three turned and froze; Leo in his shadowy hiding place, James and Jack at the foot of the stairs.
"UGGGHH." Leo waited with as much curiosity (which he couldn't really distinguish from fear) as the two strangers: he wasn't doing this.
---
Lazarus was ready to murder. He was still groggy and barely conscious but he was going to murder. His leg was still throbbing from when he tripped earlier and his tongue was still heavy from whatever Leo had drugged him with. Leo. He was going to kill that spandex-wearing brat.
"LEO!" he bellowed. But of course it came out sounding like 'ugh'.
---
"Hmph. Compared to their other tricks a fake zombie is pretty lame," commented James. Jack grunted in agreement.
---
Lazarus was half blind, more than a little deaf and not in a very good mood. As far as he could see there were two blurry figures in front of him. And one of them was dressed in black. He lunged. Or rather swayed.

"Whoa!" cried Jack jumping out of the way. Lazarus swiped at him again and this time managed to catch him on the shoulder. "I don't care if he's just a guy in a suit. He's nuts!"
James pulled back and landed one his famous left hooks squarely on the guy's chest.

Lazarus stumbled.
"Oof." Why that little-. But before he could get up they'd scarpered.

The real Leo materialized next to him. "Good job Laz. You had them running really well. Lacking a bit in the scream department but I guess I cant expect too much of you after all."

Lazarus had no idea what the boy was talking about or how he could be both running away and standing next to him at the same time. All that mattered was that Leo was now an arm's length away from him- within strangling range. He reached out to wrap his hands around the scrawny neck but as usual it turned into smoke before he could apply any substantial pressure.

"ARGGGHHHHH."